The Moos Letter Editorials are written
from the Cows' Point of View by Judy L Williams
Moos
Letter #3: Cow Heaven 07-22-09
We cows are on summer pasture now. As the gates are opened, lush green grass leads us higher and higher,
where we thrive and our calves grow due to the wonderful feed here, in what could be described as Cow Heaven.
Actually, there is a place that is called Cow Heaven in the pasture in which we graze each
summer. The Forest Service named it so because we always like to hang out there. The water gathers there, the grass is lush
and green - and it’s cool, a welcome respite in the hot summer days. Heaven. Cow
Heaven.
... So
they fenced it off. They’re saving it.
Now we can’t get into Cow Heaven. Instead, we get close -
and we crop the grass short next to the “exclosure”, proving that they were right - if they hadn’t fenced
it off, we’d be in there. They’re right; we would be. We’d eat the lush grass until it was gone and then
we’d move on to better grazing. Why wouldn’t we be there if we could? It’s Cow Heaven.
In order to stay in the good graces of those in charge, we have
to be deprived of those things that we naturally crave. Does this make any sense? You’d think we were Cowtholics!
While we were all created by a Greater Being who gave us our natural
instincts, we have to be deprived of those things we need and want. Who makes up these rules? I’ll bet the Greater Being
didn’t.
In my cow-mind, the Greater Being has what we call “ cowman sense”
- one who doesn’t need complications to make sense of the world. One who says “if you’re hungry,
eat; if you’re tired, sleep; if you’re scared, run” - Cowman Sense.
I recall a story about a human who went into a bakery.
Upon ordering two dozen doughnuts, she was told that the baker couldn’t sell that many doughnuts to one cowstomer. ...?
She asked why and
the cownter person said “because they’re for my cowstomers”. …Honest.
The Cowstomer raised her hand and said "That
would be me" and offered to pay the full price for the doughnuts, taking into consideration that the bakery might be
selling them more cheaply by the dozen than they would charge individually.
But the cownter person said,
“no, I can’t sell that many to one cowstomer”. Now the cowstomer became more amused and
decided to pursue it even further by asking “If I sit down in a booth and order a cup of cowfee and a doughnut, would
you sell me one?” and the cownter person said “no, because we need to save them for our cowstomers”.
…Honest.
Now, does this make any sense
at all? The bakery is in the business of selling doughnuts, had an ample supply of doughnuts to sell and refused to sell them
to the cowstomer wanting to buy them because they were being saved for the “cowstomers”.
Another note worth
mentioning is: this is a bakery. A bakery is a place where they make doughnuts - to sell. They have the necessary ingredients
to make more and they make a profit on those they sell. This is their business - selling doughnuts. Right there in their store.
To cowstomers.
The Cowstomer was able to buy
one and a half dozen doughnuts - no more. She did so and said “I hope you have a whole bunch of doughnuts left at the
end of the day” as she left.
The Cowstomer’s friend
told her he bought day-old doughnuts at The Bakery for ½ price the following day. She was pleased.
In the mind of a cow, her cowman sense says “If you have doughnuts
to sell today, sell them today”. If you see grass you want to eat, eat it today - tomorrow it may not be there.
Saving grass makes
about as much sense as saving doughnuts for your cowstomers when your cowstomers are calling for them today.
This is what we cows think.
"If we don't see you in the future, we'll see you in the pasture."
Letters to Cow Wabby
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