The Divine Bovine MoosLetter Articles might make you
laugh
and they might make you think
~
They should, at least, make you think about
laughing
or laugh at what the cows are thinking.
~
Moos
Letter #3: Cow Heaven
07-22-09
We cows are on summer pasture
now. As the gates are opened, lush green grass leads us higher and higher, where we thrive and our calves grow due to the
wonderful feed here, in what could be described as Cow Heaven.
Actually, there is a place that is called Cow Heaven in the pasture in which we graze each summer.
The Forest Service named it so because we always like to hang out there. The water gathers there, the grass is lush and green
- and it’s cool, a welcome respite in the hot summer days. Heaven. Cow Heaven.
... So they fenced it off. They’re saving it.
Now we can’t get into Cow Heaven. Instead, we
get close - and we crop the grass short next to the “exclosure”, proving that they were right - if they hadn’t
fenced it off, we’d be in there. They’re right; we would be. We’d eat the lush grass until it was gone and
then we’d move on to better grazing. Why wouldn’t we be there if we could? It’s Cow Heaven.
In order to stay in the good graces of those in charge,
we have to be deprived of those things that we naturally crave. Does this make any sense? You’d think we were Cowtholics!
While we were all created by a Greater Being who gave
us our natural instincts, we have to be deprived of those things we need and want. Who makes up these rules? I’ll bet
the Greater Being didn’t.
In my cow-mind, the Greater Being has what we call “ cowman sense”
- one who doesn’t need complications to make sense of the world. One who says “if you’re hungry,
eat; if you’re tired, sleep; if you’re scared, run” - Cowman Sense.
I recall a story about a human who went into a bakery.
Upon ordering two dozen doughnuts, she was told that the baker couldn’t sell that many doughnuts to one cowstomer. ...?
She asked why and the cownter person
said “because they’re for my cowstomers”. …Honest.
The Cowstomer raised her hand and said
"That would be me." The cowstomer offered to pay the full price for the doughnuts, taking into cownsideration
that the bakery might be selling them more cheaply by the dozen than they would charge individually.
But the cownter person
said, “No, I can’t sell that many to one cowstomer”. Now the cowstomer became more amused
and decided to pursue it even further by asking, “If I sit down in a booth and order a cup of cowfee and a doughnut,
would you sell me one?” and the cownter person said “No, because we need to save them for our cowstomers”.
…Honest.
Now, does this make
any sense at all? The bakery is in the business of selling doughnuts, had an ample supply of doughnuts to sell and refused
to sell them to the cowstomer wanting to buy them because they were being saved for the “cowstomers”.
Another
note worth mentioning is: this is a bakery. A bakery is a place where they make doughnuts - to sell. They have the necessary
ingredients to make more and they make a profit on those they sell. This is their business - selling doughnuts. Right there
in their store. To cowstomers.
The Cowstomer was able
to buy one and a half dozen doughnuts - no more. She did so and said cheerfully as she left, “I hope you have a whole
bunch of doughnuts left at the end of the day".
The Cowstomer’s friend
told her he bought day-old doughnuts at The Bakery for ½ price the following day. She was pleased.
In the mind of a cow, her cowman sense says “If you have doughnuts
to sell today, sell them today”. If you see grass you want to eat, eat it today - tomorrow it may not be there.
Saving grass makes about
as much sense as saving doughnuts for your cowstomers when your cowstomers are calling for them today.
This is what we cows think.
"If we don't see you in the future, we'll see you in the pasture."
